hmm, alright... so... tomorrow i start my new job... if i wake up for it, chances are that i will, but yea, i'm kinda excited, but not at the same time, i'd like to take a week off and just chill, maybe go visit ian or something, andy's out there right now, he's driving back the bmw to indiana, its sweet for him. So ian is having a second baby, things aren't looking too good for that though... mental and heart complications, its really sad... its a total shock... not much we can do but pray about it now though... been crazy lately... kimball is back, by the way it looks now, he won't be here for too long... him and pam are kinda iffy and wishy washy... their curfew is pretty ubsurd and they aren't being too lenient about it. a couple propositions have been made and all have been denied.. pam accused kimball of badgering matt about asking him to ask brad to extend the curfew or something... i don't know if you'd call it badgering, but he did ask a couple times... oh yea, he's got a live journal now, that'll be a different view on things... karalee is back in town, we went to dinner, i didn't really feel too good though... it was one of those spacy what the heck are you talking about dinners where you don't really care whats going on, and you don't really care about the food thats infront of you, but you care about whatevers on tv and the colors of miscellaneous objects on the wall... that and i just didn't feel right at all... oh yea, ashley and nick were there as well... put all 3 of them together and its a party in an in-n-out-cup-o-java... i got my bike fixed again, and again and again... yesterday i went to fashion show to turn in my uniform, kimball was with me, but right when we arrived, the front sprocket of my bike (turns the chain and wheel) fell off... like literally fell off and rolled... so yea, my bike was outta comission for a while... besides that, we saw taylor... well i saw taylor, then he saw taylor so we say taylor... i went into show central and talked with her for a little bit and then to brian for a little bit to see if he knew any quick fixes... he didn't and well, talking to taylor was a little wierd again for some odd reason... i can't really pin point it again, but its like... really kinda weird... like.. huh?-ish... anyway, we shopped a little then matt came and picked us up... we loaded the bike into his van while some guy on a phone watched suspiciously, i was hoping that he'd say something like, THOSE GUYS ARE STEALING THAT BIKE, but no such luck for me... and apparently i was hitting on the chick at pac sun, and again at red robin... kimball asked me if i knew them and i told him that i never saw either of them in my life... he's like whoa, go mikey, showin up some skills... i was like right, i was just talkin, they were laughin, i dunno what else... and yea, its been like that for the past um 8 girls, um attractive, i've spoken to that i haven't met before... but moving on, i made a quick fix at home and did whatever, people were over and it was a cool normal night at the pad, then the next mornin, today, i had to ride down to rancho and who knows where by the north las vegas airport, which is really close to taylor's house odd enough, and pick up some parts, it was weird cuz i was over there earlier for some dumb reason and found myself by taylor's house again... while at the parts place, i saw brock again, a lds salesman who transferred... that was weird, but yea, got my part, rode all the way back, and had my mechanic install a used pipe off a raptor on it... and install my sprocket plate and junk... so well, now my bike is pretty much in working condition except my front fork seal, which is alright to ride on for a little bit... moving on... my hair is still whacked out, i don't really mind, but ashley sure has a disliking to the odd mismatching color that i have on it... karalee also had the same reaction... oh well though... i'll fix it sometime... i'm running out of money too, i still have my savings, but i don't really want to dig into it... and my cash is wearing thin... only like 200 bucks cash left, and like 250 in checkings, with like 1083 in savings... pretty lame again, i guess its good that i'm going back to work... taylor... yeesh, what a weird girl, so wierd that its really cool... totally different than who i am, and totally different than anyone i know... opposites attract? i still dont' believe that and its been like a week or so since i said that i think... who knows, she's still young, and its really weird how she kinda but doesn't keep contact with me... she's got a whacked out life anyway, definitely unique, model at 14, dropped out of school, got her ged by 16, paid for college, didn't go, and now is just modeling... and i think somewhere in there she's got her own hula classes and junk that she teaches/learns/performs for and what not... hula, thats hot... but then again, who cares... i can't do much now.. weird how i got her number in the first place, and yea, her e-mail too... blah, i'll get the hang of this game... but it sure ain't my style... yea, so matt and kimball... they're soo odd now... kimball's been looking up bike crap for who knows how long now... i finally let him learn how to ride on my bike.. he almost died... and matt too... retards... retards i tell you... they're gonna do something stupid and get themselves hurt... and i've toned down my driving habits... its not like i drive crazy, i just drive fast.. not weaving like a maniac, but normally just chillin in one lane unless theres a guy who's pulling a 45 in the fast lane... i think i'm going to play pool... i'm gonna get really good at it.. pro status, and its kinda cheap... i'll be good... really good... drama is really weird when you're not involved... last night, ashley and sj's conversation or whatever involving sj's bf, totally didn't care, so i pretty much said i'm out... later today while kimball was doing something inside, matt asked me what was up with ashley last night in the movie.. i didn't notice anything, but yea, i told him, that i don't know and i don't care, and thats been my reaction for a lotta that jazz now... and dinner at tgif, don't know don't care, didn't ask... freakin dawn called me again... she's a little whacked out still, i don't think her marriage is getting any better... and um, i don't think i'm helping or making it worse, but its still kinda like huh?? why me?? weird lately too, i've been finding out that i'm more important to some people than i think i am... and learning that is just like whoa.. what? i guess the world can be small but overwhelmingly huge at the same time... just kinda weird... oh oh... yesterday at the fashion show, while watching taylor and others, and during the finale, i decided to clap really loud and holla, people were staring... it was fun, i started smiling, some of the models did too, and then more and more people started clapping and it was fun.... so basically the moral of the story is that, sometimes making a complete jackass out of yourself in public can be quite revitalizing... along with skipping around...
I heard this quote:
"Relationships are like glass; sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting back together."
and I don't really know how I really feel about it....
but i guess its got it down quite well... some you just leave broken, others you put youself in pain to savor something great... i don't know though... coolio i guess
We are who we are and we will be what we be...And yes .. This is me
