Oh, me...
Where did I go.... where is, me? into the corner? closet? even the back door? I'm not the same.. its almost 3.. i looked at my early journal from last year, 273 posts... reading back, i remember so much, and it all seems so close. when i read them, i feel as if i just wrote them.. some make me happy, some make me sad, others make me think, and think.. and think.... what was i thinking back then? what made me write about all that? what was so interesting that made me want to remember it and look back upon it on a day such as today... its seriously been 2 years, a little less i think, and its worse than ever... so hard to see her look so good, but not be able to say something about her without feeling like i'm leaving my brotherly state (i guess which i've hit now...) i thought i could forget her, well at least stop pouring so much into thinking of her. didn't so much happen, well, it did, then it didn't... i just need to go on my mission sooner... keep my mind on that and i won't have to think about her... yea, how many times have i told myself that... i don't know, i think i might search it up... eh, whatever... her family is just way too cool... byron is so cute, and it seems like he likes me... never really had a baby like me... or something... janelle and steve are just so funny, i don't mind doing things for their family, if they let me use my talents, i might as well... i love lori's smile... it makes me feel all sorts of good on the inside, and brad, well... when he's in a good mood, he's fun... karalee, i miss her, she hasn't been around for a long while, i'm a little scared of how our relationship is, but i trust that we'll still be cool, and hopefully won't clash too much... brandonion and chelsa, brandon has helped me out so much with my bike jazz... and well, karalee's car too... and just giving me advice on stuff that i don't really know about, i think he's a great resource, and um, an epitome of crazy, chelsa is just funny, well either way she's funny, funny as funny funny, and funny as in.. um, right, what are you thinking?!... ashley, well, she's ashley... i think i know her more, but i still don't... but then, well, i bet i know her better than i think... kinda like karalee, but well... i don't quite get her at times, and the way she handles kids is amazing... its something thats just really attractive, and her smile... well, she always smiles.. no, i lied... she kinda gives out evil looks, and an occasional look of pain at times of headaches... britt and elyssa, haha they're just fun, i get to know them more and more, last year, i didn't know them too much, they knew who i was, they knew that i was karalees friend and jazz, but they didn't really think of me as a brother... which is still just a little weird to me... i don't know why i just said something about everyone... to be in... nevermind, sometimes i think thoughts that are just so ubsurd that its like... man, you should be slapped for thinking that... anyway, ash's birthday is on saturday, heh, like 4 days now... i don't plan on being there for too long, and i don't plan on not having plans.. and um, well i plan on not having plans as well, so somethings got to give....
heh... love.
me
Where did I go.... where is, me? into the corner? closet? even the back door? I'm not the same.. its almost 3.. i looked at my early journal from last year, 273 posts... reading back, i remember so much, and it all seems so close. when i read them, i feel as if i just wrote them.. some make me happy, some make me sad, others make me think, and think.. and think.... what was i thinking back then? what made me write about all that? what was so interesting that made me want to remember it and look back upon it on a day such as today... its seriously been 2 years, a little less i think, and its worse than ever... so hard to see her look so good, but not be able to say something about her without feeling like i'm leaving my brotherly state (i guess which i've hit now...) i thought i could forget her, well at least stop pouring so much into thinking of her. didn't so much happen, well, it did, then it didn't... i just need to go on my mission sooner... keep my mind on that and i won't have to think about her... yea, how many times have i told myself that... i don't know, i think i might search it up... eh, whatever... her family is just way too cool... byron is so cute, and it seems like he likes me... never really had a baby like me... or something... janelle and steve are just so funny, i don't mind doing things for their family, if they let me use my talents, i might as well... i love lori's smile... it makes me feel all sorts of good on the inside, and brad, well... when he's in a good mood, he's fun... karalee, i miss her, she hasn't been around for a long while, i'm a little scared of how our relationship is, but i trust that we'll still be cool, and hopefully won't clash too much... brandonion and chelsa, brandon has helped me out so much with my bike jazz... and well, karalee's car too... and just giving me advice on stuff that i don't really know about, i think he's a great resource, and um, an epitome of crazy, chelsa is just funny, well either way she's funny, funny as funny funny, and funny as in.. um, right, what are you thinking?!... ashley, well, she's ashley... i think i know her more, but i still don't... but then, well, i bet i know her better than i think... kinda like karalee, but well... i don't quite get her at times, and the way she handles kids is amazing... its something thats just really attractive, and her smile... well, she always smiles.. no, i lied... she kinda gives out evil looks, and an occasional look of pain at times of headaches... britt and elyssa, haha they're just fun, i get to know them more and more, last year, i didn't know them too much, they knew who i was, they knew that i was karalees friend and jazz, but they didn't really think of me as a brother... which is still just a little weird to me... i don't know why i just said something about everyone... to be in... nevermind, sometimes i think thoughts that are just so ubsurd that its like... man, you should be slapped for thinking that... anyway, ash's birthday is on saturday, heh, like 4 days now... i don't plan on being there for too long, and i don't plan on not having plans.. and um, well i plan on not having plans as well, so somethings got to give....
heh... love.
me
