Nothing all to exciting.. Good it was... that is seein my cousin... its funny how similar we are, but so different at the same time... Kai-Hong, Mom, Doug and I went to Changs- not pf changs, but Changs... a really good place for Dim Sum- a small portioned, where they walk around with carts, stamp cards, have good food, type food place thing that is really good...

Today's work went by pretty fast.... i didn't have much on my mind, i didn't want to have much on my mind... and well 10 hours ran by like a fat cat on a treadmill... which i'd imagine is pretty fast, cuz well, it was fast for me.... i got 105 dollars today in a big fat wad of cash... and its pretty big, i put it in my breast pocket and people were pokin me.... they're like oo boob.. and i was like, oo shut up sweet balls....

haha lawrence came over this morning with out me knowing, i was getting ready for work and lawrence was in my house... i totally thought he was my dad for a sec... scared the stinkin crap outta me... yea, but he just wanted to stop by say hi and drop off some presents that he found me... he got me some pretty sweet stuff... i love how he puts thought into it... cuz i wouldn't even think of it myself haha... he got me this mini sushi kit thiny in a box... with mini chopsticks and sushi roller and bowl and stuff.... he got me a gameboy advance game - Kirby, nightmare in dreamland, and a book... its like an iq test book, but its in the shape of a toilet (cuz i guess the past couple time i've talked to him, i've been on the crapper) so yea, it was funny... its tight cuz he can play the game with me and stuff..... man i haven't hung out with that guy for a long time now... he also got me a card with the presents... it was cool... it made me feel good... he knows that if he needs somethin that he can just ask.... he's all sorts of thanks for always being there... referring to those crazy nights we always have where we just gotta vent and look at stars, and play guitar.... made me fell all sorts of good... at least i'm there for someone...

Haha, another person wrecked a car today... this time a nice black lexus.... lexus... yeesh... that kinda sucks.. you know he's fired... but man, thats another freakin car thats out trashed... i feel bad, cuz i laughed when i first heard it... but i know that it'll probably happen to me at some time.. kinda funny, cuz around the same time, my butt was vibrating... and it normally doesn't do that... well unless someone like grabs or slaps it or somethin, then i kinda have to vibrate my way out... or something... maybe not vibrate but move?? right... but yea, it was karalee, and it was funny... i normally set my phone all the way to silent...

Christmas was it? I don't belive so... and oh crap, i forgot about ashley's belt... suck suck suck, i'll drop it off tomorrow or something... Well, it was christmas... joyous, as usual, fun with friends all the usual....

I couldn't help but stop and cry. Theres times where you feel like everything is going right and you feel like you're on the right track and nothing can stop or bother you... and well i guess along with that, theres other times where you just turn around, find time and say... why, when is it going to stop... will it always be like this?? will i always feel the same... will others always feel the same?? obvoiusly not.. it just takes time... time has changed people, friends, family and all... whatever... i looked back at the dates of the archives i have... its been a year, and christmas again.... last year's was just so great... but i think i make things different... like they're not supposed to be... like i shouldn't be there... this year, i didn't feel like i should've been at thanksgiving, or christmas.... and to make things kind of worse... todd called while i was at the squires... and even worse, being as stupid as everyone thinks i am, i let him talk to karalee... yea, i'm just a dumb fuckin nut aren't i.. bitter? i am not... i dont know how long i can pretend being all cool, when others are doing the same...

There are so many times where people ask how i'm doing and i just want to tell them really sheity... then they'd ask why, and i wouldn't be able to tell them, because no one understands me... then theres times where they ask how i'm doing and it seems so fake, like they don't care and just are wondering if i'm actually going to say something... then theres others who just care, take time and just want to help instead of rushing along....

Brad and Lori are just awesome.... well i know i'm not a child of theirs, and i've never really lived with them for more than 3 days, but they're awesome parents...

Chelsa is dang talented with her voice and her violin skillz... mad props to her... she plays so well, makes me jealous and want to melt inside.... Brittany and Elyssa as well on the piano... omg, i wish i had piano skills.... you know how many girls you can win with that? yeesh..

Alright, i really need to meet some more people.... the people i know are kinda slimming down to a few, and well, they don't exactly like to hang out with each other... or they don't like to hang out with me, or so it seems...

I got a couple things for christmas... fight club dvd, switchfoot cd, and some mike n ikes... lol its good stuff, but i don't have a dvd player, or a tv, karalee has those... and i already ate the mike n ikes hehe....

Maybe i wont spend as much as i do on gifts anymore, seems like they don't like it haha.... especially when its not that much, but they think its a lot.... well, if they don't like it, then hey, they can always give it back er somethin...

oh blah.. i dont think i'll be able to sleep again, but we'll see... we'll see soon....

my dad didn't say anything, i saw him, said good morning, and he replyed with clean the hallway, followed by did you hear me.... and well i probably could have cleaned it right away, but i decided to get big headed and pissed off and continue writing chirstmas cards and get on with my day....

Yea, well i woke up, got casually dressed, drove my butt to boulder station to pick up movie ticket gift certificates, came home, talked to family (my bros), talked to kimball, filled out cards, spent the day @ the squires then watched Cold Mountain with Karalee, Ashley, AJ, Brittany, and Daniel... and wow, karalee and ashley sure act different with aj around... weird... but yea, it was ood... squires dinner was good cheese.... good cheese ball as well... anyway, i've got to try to sleep.... try to sleep....

Movin on.... just moving on....

Its 5:14 in the morning (couldn't sleep well) and it doesn't look all that great outside.. the sky kinda looks like a mix between brown and black, not all that attractive. Christmas is in a couple days now... a little too soon for me.. I'm not at all ready for another year to fly by. My christmas shopping hasn't begun yet, and well, I'm kinda stressing, but not really stressing at the same time... I'll be getting money today... my ino check will finally pass thru, and i'll hopefully get some good tips from yesterday... Yeesh, my bills are all sorts of comin up and i really need to knock them outta the way... My dad's rent, car insurance junk (i think i missed last month's payment), phone, express card (still havne't paid off yet), stuff like that crap... its a drain... thats already like 300 bucks... freakin sucks like a mother... I had ino last night, i went with scott and ashley... well they actually went with me.. i was dang hungry after work and didn't want to go alone anywhere... so yea, we went to 150 to grab a bite... and wow, steve sucks at cookin or somethin, cuz wow it sucked... i told marcus that he's cookin next time... steve couldn't even read the tags right, but i was just too frustrated to even deal with it, so i let it fly.... I don't know why i'm really up right now... i'm troubled and i don't know why.... but whatever, i'll get over it.... heh, i'll get over it.... i'll always get over it....

Check out this dang cute, but sad movie. Its in Korean, but you'll get the story and the point by the video.... little taste of korea for you.... and the girl is dang hot.... i mean, wow..

Here's the 2 goofy asians singing.... you know, the asian dance weeeeeeee

And another one i found sung by the same boys...
here

Todays Jones Soda Cap - "Accept a gift graciously"

Weird, seeing that its the Christmas season, well maybe not so weird, but pretty cool instead... they probably ran out of all the "You're screwed, have a nice life" caps, so they opened the "Accept a gift graciously" box and put them on... yea, so i get them for 99 cents, not bad... it turns out that i spend a total of 9 dollars on food at work... and heh, it adds up to be a lot after a while, yeesh...

My calfs are kilin me even more... and today was dang busy... anyway i was kinda pissed off when i got off of work today... one of the managers (who's kinda like a steve reyas and more of a loser put together) well, supervisors or whatnot found out that i don't work on sundays and put me down on the schedule anyway... i said hold up, i don't work on sundays because of my religious beliefs... and he went off about how this person and this person and this person work on sundays dispite their religious beliefs... and i was like, well thats them, this is me, deal with it... turns out that the other people were lds as well, but are pretty much JACK DuP... kinda ticks me off... yea, so i think i have some of the management po'ed at me... some other stuff went down at the j o b today, but it takes too much effort to explain... but in a nutshell, people are stupid... as if i didn't learn already...

Chicago... i remember that place... i remember that when i first moved here, i wanted to find every excuse for me to move back... the one excuse that i seemed to use the most was friends.... i have all my friends out there, the lawn is too small, i dont know anybody, the weather sucks, i feel caged up with these walls in the backyard, the gates are gay, i can't breathe the air, i have no friends out here... heh, i have no friends out here...... thats changed over 5 years... friends come and go i guess... sad eh? back then (freshmen year) i never thouht that any of my relationships would last more than a couple months.... and well, for the most part i was right... i still got a couple with me... kimball, wilson, jamie... and wow, that was 5 years ago... now i look at some of my friendships now and i wonder how long they're going to last.... another 5 years? 10 years? I saw bobbo today, only for a bit though, we passed each other in our cars and just said hi and whats up.. i guess he's in my neighborhood a lot now cuz of this chick that lives across phil... so hes like, call me up some time.... i probably will sometime.... he's cool most of the time... but yea, i haven't seen him for a while now...

Ugh, come on tuesday.... need cash dang it.... need to get some monnay... and get a black panoramic frame :)... i still don't know what i'm going to do with these pictures, but i really like them a lot... kinda classy lookin and junk... um yea, i was just lookin at it so its on my mind right now...

I really like having a closed small group to chill with... kinda like having regulars and stuff... like the tv show friends and how they just are a gang that meets up at el coffee shop every so often... keeps everything close... i think it gets way too hectic with too many friends and aquaintences... especially when your aquainteces think that they're more than aquaintences... well, thats what i'm used to i guess... Mitch, kevin, mike, john back in Chi town.... Todd, jolynn, missy, vanessa, kimball here... karalee, ashley, kimball, todd, and a plethora of work people (weird groups now...) scott, ashley, mike, bridget, nick, ben and their girls.... click... clique... klic.... bic clic... pen pen... pen...

yay, i might be able to work at both jobs.... as long as valet doesn't call me in early (as they might since its the holiday season and everyone's on call)... INO in the mornin, and valet at night... that'll help me freakin load up some cash to save... if it works out that is.....

My meeting with my bishop has been moved to next week... and i guess i gotta make an appointment to meet with the stake during the same week... exciting eh? then they can discuss when to "present" me in the stake.... hehe, that's tight.

¤Thought¤
Life is interesting and there aren't any stars out on my side of town... Cheese is a good snack... i want some cookies or brownies or rice crispy treats or similar.... caramel apples sound good... my ear kind of hurts and it throws off my balance and orientation... my phone battery is dying.... although i don't get many phone calls anymore, my minutes have shot down from 700 to 200 left... i guess its me trying to call people who aren't there.... or me talking to ashley, karalee, or scott for prolong periods of time... no wait, i know what it was this month... it was 3 waying so much.... bill and i did it for like 3 hours talkin to ashley, heather, alford's answerin machine, some other girls that bill knows, and heather and alford and i did it for a while as well.. yea, but i don't get many phone calls anymore... kinda weird... i get like 1 call a day now... and today it was from brother aldur, who notified me of the change in plans... haha i'm done... long thought...

Daily Jones Soda Cap = "You will sooon be proud of someone close to you"

Soon be proud of someone close to me eh? I'll wait for that one... that and the one before this one... anyway, work was long, but it got finished... wasn't too bad, but the standing is still killing my legs.. massage is good, but i think i just need to just suck it up, cuz it won't get any better any soon.... The job is getting easier (as if it was really hard anyway) lots easier than In n out..

I got home from work today and hopped online as usual... well it wouldn't be usual if I wasnt connected 24/7, but what do you do... and I talked to a couple people, kimball some other people, some girl i don't remember... and talked to jeremy on the phone... of course he had a story to tell, and i feel for the guy i guess... its kinda hard to go thru crap like that.. but i don't think that you gotta be that hard on it... i know i'm not... i mean, i wouldn't be... err... I took a shower afterwards and headed toward scotts house where i helped him do some invitations to his wedding... got everything done (well our parts) and we kicked it for a bit... Mike n Bridget, Scott and Ashley ANNE (weird eh? I freaked out when I found her middle name), Jamie, Alex and I all just kicked it... it was little weird, probably especially for Alex.. he was really really silent and i totally could see why... jamie was sitting on my lap, and well... bridget was on mike's and ashley was on scott's... and well, he was kinda odded out... dang man, i would've handed jamie to him if i could... but yeesh.. she was all sorts of feeling on my boob and tickling me and giving me wet willies... i was like, what the fease lady, what's wrong with you... anyway, it was kinda uncomfortable, but i had to play it off better than i really wanted to, kinda sad, but oh well, no damage done i don't think... haha, i guess i've gotten better at playing crap like that off better... silly-ness is the key... silliness? sillyness iano... whatever...

Oooo, I talked to karalee for a little bit tonight... that was exciting.... and well, i didn't talk to many others besides that... well jeremy, scott... thats pretty much it.... something like that... i don't know what i'm really saying anymore..

I got a survey from sandra that i wanna fill out on my spare time... haha spare time... now that i'm busy, i actually have "spare time" and i probably wont have time for things that i had time for... many things like, but aren't limited to hanging out, or calling around to hang out, or even waiting for phone calls, or being free every night to hang out when no one wants to hang out or are too tired or something... but yea, i want to do this survey...

I haven't played my gameboy sp for a while, i wanna finish that Final Fantasy game but refer to above- no time. Hopefully i'll make enough money to support myself for a little bit longer and maybe save some cash up... well, and get my buttocks on the way...

Christmas is comin, its kinda scary for me i guess, no money yet- till the 23rd, no presents bought -no money, gotta work, and everything is so festive... I wonder how this year will be...

heh, christmas....

friendships are so weird... its weird to hear the line, you guys used to be so close... whoa, i mean, whoa.. i heard that line and i was like, hold on, hold this and shut up... and well, seeing people that you haven't seen for a while is exciting and such, but its like, whoa.. you're actually here... weird... like jamie moving back, it was weird to see her, i mean she's cool and all, but whoa, weird.... and people that we used to hang out with and stuff... just weird to hear that we don't hang out with them as much anymore... or the friendship just deteriorated over time... its sad... and i don't want to talk any more about that..

The bottle next to me is blue. Blue is the color of my carpet... and oh my gosh.. i just remembered... in the movie stuck on you, there was a shirt that the girl as wearing and karalee owned it.. i laughed... cuz i saw that shirt today again... wicked eh? canada eh? but yea, all 3 girls, ladys whatever you would like to call them, women even, were hot.. the girl next to the girl that had the same shirt as karalee had blue on all the way down to her shoes... blue shirt, skirt shoes socks... junk like that, purse.. all different shades... i bet if you threw her up in the air on a clear sky, he's blend in, or like parts of her would blend in, so like her legs would be gone but u could see her feet or somethin... or even her arms would be gone and her legs and her head were there... haha, tha'd be fun...

Welcome to Fashion Show... where fashion comes to life... *point at customer with both hands* *cheesy smile with sparkle* *Sound effect- ding*

Its not that often that people have a free call to me.... i mean, hello?! how often am i free now? crazy eh? i think so!!

I was singing a song for some reason, it was a song that karalee sings every now and then... about a race and finishin first place.... and my g isn't working all that well still.. but anyway, i was skipping along to one of the shows and well, i was singin that as i went along... i was like, whoa... haha thats funny... so then i started whistling the christmas music that came on... well kinda whistling, doin a jig to the techno music and such all at the same time, while trying to look professional...

I can't imagine me bein all sorts of professional... i don't have the looks.. well now i do i guess... dress shirt, vest, tie, blazer.... i'm a stud... but its a job... i can't always look like that.... or can i?? but why would i want to? - to be a stud 24/7... would i get tired? - tired of being a stud, haha never... do i need to look like that to be a stud?? - you answer that haha...

¤Thought¤
Jones soda is good, and its only 99 cents at your local ABC store (located in Fashion Show mall, and participating Hawaii islands) and it comes with a free fortune pulled from fortune cookies..... so they say... but i know they pull them out of their butt...

Jones Soda cap of the day = " There are good times ahead of you."

I can probably belive that.. I don't have a reason not to. Today was exaustin again... my legs feel like...... um, actually what legs? I'm really exaggerating... but my legs are still sore.. i had to bust out some old chinese rubdown crap with some kind of wood lock oil thing... it made my leg all cold, but relaxed it and made it feel gooood. I'm getting used to all the querks of different cars and such.. You know, mercedes have the door lock in the middle and have the funky laser keys... while freakin porsches have the key that turn the opposite way to start the car... and wow, i've never really noticed how out of whack my clutch is... well compared to the mini cooper (which i got to drive like 6 times, and it owned by a really cute girl that just turned 16... oh and it was red and black) my clutch is jacked, and compared to some other hondas i drove, mine is wicked..... oh and the BMW M5 clutch is butter compared to mine... I couldn't even drive my car by the time I had to. Oh my goodness... I don't remember if i've already complained about the shows in the great hall, but i don't care, i'll complain some more. Ugh... the girls are cute and all, but wow, the techno christmas music is a little much to hear so often. That and the lip synching and such are gettin on my nerves... i like the fake snow, but ugh... the stupid music crap makes me want to tilt my head from side to side... i hate it when its like that... ugh, makes me feel all sorts of kiddish and makes me feel like i should be on Blues clues or somethin like that... yea, but thats gettin annoying....

I didn't do much after work... I came home, played some diablo, talked to ashley for a little bit, took a shower and relaxed for as much as i could without gettin edgy.... I didn't do much before work either... well i tried to wake up at 9, didn't happen, woke up to brittany callin to say hi and wantin to go shoppin sometime.... then i tried to go back to sleep, and lawrence called me, then i got up after that (which was like 12ish) and got dressed for work, and went to get some food in my system (at in n out of course, haha karalee was there and krista forgot my side of spread) and went on my way... lyra is licking my arm and my foot fell asleep. and i want a human blanket... and that was a little randomness for you. ooo my hair is softish... feels good... and i look like a mop, thats awesome.

Things have been surprising lately... I kind of like it... my dad has kinda softened up a little more... he actually talks to me, although not often, but he talks.... well complains about the cats (the orange one) and thats it really... well lately i got rid of the orange cat (went to a nice neighborhood family) and well thats that... i cleaned the cat crap and stuff... my dad gave me some money because i haven't been eating well, or even eating. he also gave me 20 bucks for gas.. of course he wants the money back, but it was nice of him to actually loan it out..

Seems like i've been asking for a little more help than i normally do... but thinkin for asking for help from some people is really awkward now.... well people that i could normally ask for help from... and i'm not makin any sense and i dont' feel like correctin myself.

oh crap, i really need to go to bed... and people keep signing on and off of aol... i think i'll turn off the sound.. and omg... i want to get these osiris shoes!! they're freakin tight.. i saw them at hot cats the other day.. not sure if i already said this. but anyway they're slick. and i need to have all black shoes for work, so why not some all black skater shoes? they're like 50 bucks, and i i could probably get them for cheaper if i get melissa ward to get them for me (she's at the fashion show mall hot cats)... but yea, thats tight... and wow there are magnets on the back of our nametags.. and whoa... they're freakin strong.. they're way strong... strong like bull...

yea, i'm really going to bed now...

¤Thought¤
Well quote....
"Yea, a lot of people think i'm japanese."
"Oh, so what color did you dye your hair?"
"What?!"
"Oh nevermind, its because you're skinny and pale."
"Whatever..... retard."

Ashley's coming to town soon!! yay!! Heh, i hope i get to see her... stuipid work... geez, the only way that we could probably hang out is if i freakin spend the night... and well, that'll be insane.... probably wouldn't go so well with people either... and freakin work will probably kill me... stupid work... stupid work... i'm hopin for some early day shifts... 11:30 would be alright... 1:45 sucks.. i dont get off until like 9:30... gayness..... anyway.. i've really got to go.. stupid work...

So its been a little bit...
Since I've really talked to anyone,
Since I have had a good day,
Since I've made anyone happy,
Since I've really made myself happy,
Since I've written,
Since I've listened to anyone,
Since I've had caffeine,
Since I've slept well,
Since I've really eaten well,
Since I've found stars,
Since I've watched a home movie,
Since I've taken any pictures,
Since I've been in any pictures,
Since I've said sorry,
Since I've made a difference.

I'm sick of typin on this freakin american chinese taiwanese somethinese keyboard... it sucks... I really want to pick it up and bash it against something hard, things such as the floor, or an airplane. Yea, I haven't found anything really worth reminding myself of... I saw LoTR, although I think I'd prefer watchin it at home when I'm aware and not falling asleep, and don't have to go to a early dental appointment and work right after it for 8 more hours... Um, I started work a couple days ago... that was fun I guess... time flew by pretty fast... it was a cold... cold night.... one of those nights that scream COLD... or BRRR or like... SHIVER.... or WOOOOOO..... yea, today was alright as well, I got to work at the shows intermittently.. First one I saw at the fashion show... it was cool I guess... my job you ask?? To keep the children from running towards the runway and stage... I didn't have to really stop any kid from darting towards the place... It made me feel good watching these kids tho... During the introduction (3 plasma screens displaying weather forecasts and santa driving down the strip) a little adoreable girl was paying close attention to the tv's... Santa would come on and wave (as if they were stopping at different places on the strip, they showed other clips of lance burton and other goodies- show girls, fire department, blue man group) and well, this girl would stare up at the screens, and she would wave back at santa... her eyes glistened as she gazed at the screens... She was cute... then there were other kids all lookin at the live santa and such... There was fake snow (bubbles) showering indoors and the kids were amazed... all smiling... I couldn't help but smile or even laugh... yea, but that was that... I've been gettin used to driving other people's cars... I'm getting a feel for what cars I like and what cars i dislike... I have to say that some suvs really really really suck... And I'll say that if you ever want an American Ford car, get a Japanese American Ford car... Navajo (Explorer) , or Tribute (Tribute).... The tribute is nice.... better than Ford's tribute... yea, well thats it for that much...

Theres always other stuff going on in my head, it just depends on if I really want to type it all out... I will type this out tho... i'm tired and i'm goin to bed so i can continue to work my butt off... night

¤Thought¤
Love me, love me.... say that you love me...

Ahh yes... money has pretty much run out for this week and next week... seeing that i didn't have any money for this week either.... i'm freaking having condiments for a freakin meal.. and no i'm not joking, even tho that commercial was funny..... ketchup packets are a ity bit spicy, and well, i haven't gotten to the mustard yet... pickles are pretty good... but yea, stupid bank has my check on hold till the 23rd... and its only 200 bucks... so its like... crappy, and like 180 of that is going to dumb bills.... so gay... getting a tad bit stressed out here... its probably not helping my cold sores any...

Well, i got my uniform for Valet today, well except the shoes and the name tag.... can't afford them yet- see above... but yea, i guess i'm workin the rest of this week... all days mostly.. i start at like 10:30, then 1:45, then 11:30, then 1:45 or some deal like that.... but yea, i go in tomorrow for some training baby... i hope its fun, if its not... i'll make it fun...

I gotta actually work on my swearing... its getting worse and worse... and well, looks like i gotta help myself on this one... haha, who else is going to help me? and what are they going to do anyway? hit me whenever i say one? haha.... yea... that would probably work for me....

Seems like everyone today is around... just around in different places.... i went to the stratosphere to check out roxy's diner, i haven't been there for a while and chelsa told me to check it out sometime, and so i did, and both chelsa and emily weren't there, although emily was going to start in 25 minutes.... i didn't stick around though, on the way out, i called chelsa to see if she could run down to the institute with me to check out roomies, and well, she's in san fran or somethin.... afterwards, i went to neonopolis to say hi to vanessa brown... and well, she worked at the fashion show mall hot dog today... scott isn't around i don't think... neither is ashley b... i think this is their week in florida, but i maybe mistaken and scott could just be ignoring me....

ugh, i've been driving around illegally for quite some time now... now with the loss of my liscence, i better make my moves soon.... i need to go to the dmv sometime, sucks that no one can go with me....

My hair is becomin its own creature... and the g key on this keyboard isn't workin well... arh.... GGGGGGGGGGGGgggggggggggggggggggggggg maybe that'll help.... the gay reen rass grows greater than oofy grasshoppers..... so maybe it worked a little... but wow, my hair has reached that point where i either need to cut it, or look like a shrub for the next couple months... i think i'll let it be a shrub, maybe some hot girl can prune it....

there are still leaves on my tree outside... and it still seems like fall to me... there aren't exactly many leaves n the ground and all the other trees and shrubs that aren't supposed to have leaves, have leaves..... this pseudo season sucks.... pseudo pseudoness..... gay... and the sun, sets prematurely... i look out side and its freaking dark while its like 3:30... what is that all about... although, i have seen some really nice sunsets and scenes with the sun lately... clouds and what not... but haven't seen any stars...... alright, i'm goin to stop eatin ketchup packets, they're getting nas-T.

wow, amazingly my room and house is still dirty... well its not amazin, i didn't really clean my room, and well, my dad's been home and i haven't been doing much moving around... mostly layin in my bed thinking about how crappy bein by yourself is.... well i have the cats, and lyra likes me... she slept with me for the 5th night in a row... so i guess i'm not all that alone....

Some other cat, that is a different color that my other cat, chewed up my legos, so i chucked them in el garbage....

Ahh yes.... 10:30am Next sunday... meeting with my bishop... excellent baby... excellent.... that and i get to call myself a part time tithe payer, cuz i'm a slacker.... Soon, the pickup line to be used will be!! - Hey baby, wanna hold the priesthood?

oh sheit, i better go cancel my express card or something... or put it on hold... oh crap, i need to pay the rest of that off too... mothaltkjgajlkaeruogaeioathawlejtlawketjlakgmadlkfajer.... wow, the G worked in that a couple out of the 68 times i tried to hit the g key.

Sadly, Ashley isn't moving down here... i guess she'll be around till jan 7th or so... she's stayin out there to finish up the schoolin and stuff so it looks better when she goes and becomes a teacher... and if not, then i uess she's movin back here and oin to college...

Karalee, from what i hear, she's doing well, had a headache last night, did whatever... guess she's cool about ashley staying over in az...

Andy called last night just to tell me that he's gettin in his hot tub....

Haven't heard from ian in a couple days... i called him to ask him about a medication... hes doin well, his girl is getting bigger...

Not much else about people i care about...

in a nutshell, heh, i guess i wouldn't be in a nutshell...
.....Continuing on... i want to dye my tips black tonight....

Things are lookin alright for the week... i have about 6 dollars... half a tank of gas... some clean laundry... 200 somethin minutes on my phone, computer that still works, radio, music, a warm bed, ketchup packets.... things could be worse... no money, no gas, stinky clothes, no minutes, no comp, radio or music, cold bed, and mustard packets.... its all good.....

well, i'm going to go waste some gas... and i'll see whats going on with me in about 12 hours...

Well, i ended up doin practically nothin tonight... no wait, nothing... and that was pretty much it... kinda boring.... and no one wanted to do anything with me, so.... screw them... although i did beat the crap out of kimball in chess... that was rather amusing after the first 2 minutes... then i got bored and started downloadin futurama videos.... i want to hang out dang it... is that so hard?! uh, i could be doin better things than sitting on the ground typing to people on the internet and playing around with legos and eating jellybeans when i can...... ugh... doesn't anybody care?! yea, so thats pretty much it... i'm done.

I've learned -
that you can't make someone love you.
All you can do is
be someone who can be loved.
The rest is up to them.

I've learned -
that no matter how much I care,
some people just don't care back.

I've learned -
that it takes years to build up trust,
and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned -
that it's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts.

I've learned -
that you can get by on charm
for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better know something.

I've learned -
that you shouldn't compare
yourself to the best others can do
but to the best you can do.

I've learned -
that it's not what happens to people
that's important. It's what they do about it.

I've learned -
that you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.

I've learned -
that no matter how thin you slice it,
there are always two sides.

I've learned -
that it's taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.

I've learned -
that it's a lot easier
to react than it is to think.

I've learned -
that you should always leave
loved ones withloving words.
It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned -
that you can keep going
long after you think you can't.

I've learned -
that we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.

I've learned -
that either you control your attitude
or it controls you.

I've learned -
that regardless of how hot and steamy
a relationship is at first,
the passion fades and there had better be
something else to take its place.

I've learned -
that heroes are the people
who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.

I've learned -
that learning to forgive takes practice.

I've learned -
that there are people who love you dearly,
but just don't know how to show it.

I've learned -
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned -
that my best friend and I can do anything
or nothing and have the best time.

I've learned -
that sometimes the people you expect
to kick you when you're down
will be the ones to help you get back up.

I've learned -
that sometimes when I'm angry
I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me
the right to be cruel.

I've learned -
that true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I've learned -
that just because someone doesn't love you
the way you want them to doesn't mean
they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned -
that maturity has more to do with
what types of experiences you've had
and what you've learned from them
and less to do with how many
birthdays you've celebrated.


I've learned -
that you should never tell a child
their dreams are unlikely or outlandish.
Few things are more humiliating, and
what a tragedy it would be
if they believed it.

I've learned -
that your family won't always
be there for you. It may seem funny,
but people you aren't related to
can take care of you and love you
and teach you to trust people again.
Families aren't biological.

I've learned -
that no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you
every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned -
that it isn't always enough
to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn
to forgive yourself.


I've learned -
that no matter how bad
your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned -
that our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned -
that sometimes when my friends fight,
I'm forced to choose sides
even when I don't want to.

I've learned -
that just because two people argue,
it doesn't mean they don't love each other
And just because they don't argue,
it doesn't mean they do.


I've learned -
that sometimes you have to put
the individual ahead of their actions.

I've learned -
that we don't have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.


I've learned -
that you shouldn't be so
eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life forever.

I've learned -
that two people can look
at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.


I've learned -
that no matter how you try to protect
your children, they will eventually get hurt
and you will hurt in the process.

I've learned -
that there are many ways of falling
and staying in love.


I've learned -
that no matter the consequences,
those who are honest with themselves
get farther in life.

I've learned -
that no matter how many friends you have,
if you are their pillar you will feel lonely
and lost at the times you need them most.


I've learned -
that your life can be changed
in a matter of hours
by people who don't even know you.

I've learned -
that even when you think
you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you,
you will find the strength to help.


I've learned -
that writing, as well as talking,
can ease emotional pains.


I've learned -
that credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being.

I've learned -
that the people you care most about in life
are taken from you too soon.

I've learned -
that although the word "love"
can have many different meanings,
it loses value when overly used.

I've learned -
that it's hard to determine
where to draw the line
between being nice and
not hurting people's feelings
and standing up for what you believe.

---

If you think you
are beaten, you are;
If you think you
dare not, you don't;

If you'd like to win,
but think you'll
lose, you're lost.

For out in the world
we find success begins
with a person's faith;

It's all in the
state of mind.

by Kathy Kane Hansen

Good stuff... good stuff..... Today was nice... i hung out with the guys from JP Motorsports and learned some crap about lots o junk.... I might sell this accord and get a car that is a little more reliable and doesn't die on me in the middle of a turn... thats gettin a little frustrating.... I went to denny's with the guys and well, they guys definately know what they're talkin about when it comes to cars and switching what not with what not... they're good and they're funny..... its pretty cool.... I told them i don't really want to make money there, i just want to learn crap.. and well, they said yea, thats totally cool... so like, i'm around helpin them do what not and i get to learn crap for free whenever i want... that and i get some hook ups with parts and stuff if i need them.... And in return, i help them do crap... like today, i installed an intake on a corolla, total cake, saved Mike, one of the cool guys who's got a freakin nice car (WRX Wagon, thats pimp), another 15 minutes so he could do some other crap on the car..... Karalee called in the middle, i was like, cooooool... after that, well, thats when we went to dennys.... then after that I went to go see Stuck on You today with brittany, daniel, wade, scott and ashley..... it was pretty good.... i don't know if i'd see it a second time, but it was good... daniel is a pretty cool kid... i think that we'd get along fine... he noticed me skipping thru sunset station... he asked brittany, "Is Mykii that asian that's kinda jumpin over there?"... yea, thats me... no shame, gotta love it.... before that tho, i stopped by 88 to say hi to karalee and lawrence.... haha, i love karalee, she makes me feel all good when i see her, although busy.... lawrence is just bomb, he makes me laugh, and well, he's asian... oh yea, ashley called while i was in the movie... stupid movie, makin me miss ashley's call, it should be burned dang it.... ya, but i was kinda surprised.... its cool tho.... bill also called, couldn't return either tho... ashley told me to call tomorrow, bill was just blah blah blah awesome junk blah uh huh and then? yea, then well, that was pretty much it, i went to 150 cuz it was around the corner after the movie and got me some light fries (stupid wisdom teeth) and chilled till they closed.... krista is great, we freakin feeed off of each other when we're hyper.... although, i didn't exactly get there, i was kinda between insanely fast and hyper modes... fatigue kicks in after 1:30 ish....

Yesterday.... oh yesterday, i don't remember much.... oh yes... i went to the shop and kicked it some more, learned some junk, got my carb tuned up a little, just so i don't idle so high, and so i can pass smog.... stupid carburator... yeesh... its holding up better, but it still sucks and needs to be rebuilt or tuned up, that and i need some kind of new valve and distributer cap.... i learned that you can hear certain things that are wrong from listening thru a tube... kinda like a stethoscope and stuff... yea, well after that, bill came down to the shop, and we went to his friend's house megan? i think? i duno, somethin with a m... or some other letter that sounds like m... maybe n... or a or r... i duno, but we watched pirates of the carrebean and the movie was good, but the people i was watchin with were dang annoying.. holy crap, you had bill flirtin with the chick on the floor.. the chick asking for help from me to stop bill... then you had bill starin at me durin the movie for some odd reason.... lookin for approval or some deal like that, or seein if i'm payin any attention to him flirtin with el chicko on the ground or me hearing what he said, or some funky thing.... but yea, it was.... tolorable i guess... on the way home, i went the opposite direction... i found lake mead instead of bonanza.... kinda scary over there.... got to my side of town, bought some cheesecake, with strawberries mind you, got home, ate some, and fell asleep watchin tommy boy... cuz well, that movie makes me laugh all the time....

Oh baby oh baby, if i can sell the rims off my car, or something maybe the car itself, with the help of James, from the store and Mike from the store (wow they have the 2 names of ME!!) then i can put some stock rims on the car (which is better for selling... makes it look all sorts of stock and junk, gonna put a stock muffler on it and all) and sell it to someone with the help of james.... then with that money, i can buy a 1996 honda civic hatchback ex and tune up... it'd be more reliable, i'd know more about it cuz it wodn't have swarms of lines going every which direction and what not... and the freakin hey hey engine will be nice and more powerful (not like that really matters to me at this point) and gas mileage will be better, and well i won't have to spend too much more money on the car... as to this accord.... Although, i can still tune it up and make it look good, also to the thanks of James, who has a STRIPPED DOWN honda civic also from the same generation as the hatch back... and well, he's got entire interiors of this generation in his garage, also he's got some front lips to put on and stuff, and well, he's got parts for the car..... so i see this as a good opportunity... now hopefully i can get 4k outta this car.... cuz if i can....... oh baby, hatch back or... well for 2k, an MR2 1993 N/A (naturally aspirated.... non turbo hehe, for a limited time, if i get it done soon)..... anyway, yea, if i get that all done, i'm set for a while.... it'll rock... i'll rock... my car'll rock... i'll be a little more asian and pulling myself outta the 80's..... 86 crx, 88 accord... ya know.... and it'll be a "cute" car hehe.... now thats if i can sell my car...... now check this out.... in the elevator at sunset, i saw some familar people.... people from the brakes place that i went to, and well, they knew who i was, and what car i drove, and one guy asked if i wanted to sell it, i said, yea, maybe, for like 4k...and he told me to stop by the place... so maybe i can sell it to him :)

Everythin else is pretty good.... i was excited that ashley called.... that kinda made my day.... seein karalee also made my day... putting the silencer on my muffler also made my day....YAY QUIETNESS ON MY EXAUST AND I STILL MAINTAIN POWER!! good good stuff...

I'm probably going to my homeward tomorrow.. gotta pay a grip of tithing and stuff... and well, probably talk to my bishop and get things moving along...

And thats pretty much it for now..

¤Thought¤
Daniel likes the color blue, went to foothill, says his fave letter is V, birthday on sept 25..

Mike likes his wrx, wanted to get an Aerio (why the heck you ask? 4wd and light... although ugly), loves cars, works on electrical junk, went to school for electrical engineering...

James likes sellin and swaping engines and cars, loves working on them, likes to take things apart when bored, just bought a Lancer Evo, it arrives in mid january (none in this state)

My head hurts more than my teeth right now...

Ahh yes.. today was a great day of rain... wasn't too bad for me.. i handled the pain quite nicely if i do say so myself... I woke up, and well, no probably, no ones surprise, i played some diablo.. afterwards, i went to ashley's mom's house to play some DDR and watch scott actually DDR since he promised ashley.... ashley's mom is sick, i'm sad... she's my pharmasist in a way, she loaded me up with that vicadin crap and loritab junk.... dang, i didn't feel pain the whole day!... anyway, it was great, the rain made life a little more bearable... i love it... the change in scenery made me so happy, not to mention that i could jack around in my car the whole day....

This is what its supposed to be like.... kinda cold, not too cold, rainy, and with friends... its a blast... a dang blast i tell you! I don't think i can exclaim that enough! anyway, i went home after ddrin and well, uh, ran errands, then helped lawrence pick up his fresh car, straight from the shop, he was quite the happy person afterwards... and then i stopped by my house... There, I picked up my Havoc tickets, then drove down to INO 150 to drop them off to Karalee.... i hope she had fun.... must've been fun.... anyway, afterwards, i went back to my house and just talked to people on the phone for an hour or so... mostly 3 wayin people... and dang it was good times... bill and i called a bunch of people, ranging from heather to Ashbeedash and people's answerin machines... we left some goofy messages and well, i've got no shame anymore!! muhahahaha.... yea, then i met bill at 165 and i drove him to heather's place where we chilled for a while, i hate some dang good kettle corn and we talked, bill flirted, ashley alford came down, we had some fun... and well, we just chilled for quite a bit.... we finally were leaving and well, i found a newspaper bundle and heather's car was wet... so well, we put those 2 together and newspapered heather's car... and it was dang funny.... yea, after that freakin bill and i went bowlin... i think a total of 9 games each... tiring and well, it was fun... surprisingly, i got the high score of the night... 199.... crazyness...

ahh, blood blood blood, we all need it right? apparently i don't... i've been loosin a lot of it thru my wisdom hole thingys... they don't hurt, but i know i keep swallowing blood and its pretty crappy, i know that i've been pale the last couple of hours and its not all that great... the pain has definatly lessened but i'm still a tad swollen...

Did i mention that i love the rain?! oh yea baby, i love it... love love... it it... love ... it.... custard.... whoa, i want some of that.... mmm.... custard... i wish i could grab some of that... haven't had it for a long long time...

I ate some real food tonight... it was good, it took me a long long time, but i eventually got it down and enjoyed it... started with some fries from wendys after 150, then some crackers and reeses at home, then 2 flyin dutchmans from 165.. one of which was freeeeee... oh yea, i'm bomb... and also a slice of pizza and a deep fried bun topped with sugar... good stuff...... mmm solid food is good

I've been craving odd things lately... now i can't mention any cuz well, i don't know what i'm craving.. and can't think of the others.... oh, i wanted some alfredo crap from olive garden, then i wanted some chinese food, then after, some red vines (been lookin at them for a while, i got 2 boxes here at my house).... then ino... then pickles... then luv it, then skittles, then slurpee, then dots, then jones soda, then coke, then another coke, then some gum, then some love from people i can't really mention, then yea, that was funny, then some pie... mmmm pie..... some good pie.... or cheese cake......

AHH i'm nervous.. i start valet on monday, and well i dont know if i'm allowed to have my hair this color, if not, well i have the black/blue dye.... and well, ugh, its gonna suck anyway, but aww, i'm nervous....

I went to 165 and wow, the gang was there, Tega, Mylene, Maria, Monique, Colleen, Alford, Lawrence.... the first 4 were off tho... i guess they haven't seen me for a long time or something, but they freakin bum rushed me and mylene was all up on me... i was like, WHOA, heLlO nURsE.... what the freak?! but it was good, and it was funny cuz they were like, we were just thinking of you and was about to call you, but well i guess i had good timing and showed up.... I miss them, it was fun... i'll see them sometime tho... theres always time...

I sported a bandana the whole day again... this time actually wearing it on my head so that the managers wouldn't see my hair.... apparently they didn't care anyway... but well i felt like bein different so i wore it anyway, although i looked like a retard...

Some girls look dang hot in hats... i guess it depends, but dang, i saw a couple today and wow, hats are nice hehe.... well along with the rest of the freakin girl... i guess... everythin butterface.... j/k...

Hangin out with bill has been different... cool tho.. good thin i haven't seen him for a while, cuz wow, i noticed how aggravated i get when i bowl with him sometimes... I know i shouldn't let it get to me, but it does and i have to remind myself that i'm bein stupid... he keeps talking to me about his own mistakes, all, the, time.... well he makes excuses for everythin mostly.... i missed my arrow... i hit my leg... not enough spin... whatever.... just suck it up and do it right next time, i don't need to hear about it every time.... but well, i felt bad not talking back about what was goin on, so well i said stuff like, aww, that sucks.... yea, i've been doin the same thing... or something... or i'll make excuses.... i thought it was funny.... i'd screw up and its mostly on my fatigue... just getting dang tired.... not cuz i missed my arrow.... i'm not that good to aim for arrows hahaha.... but it was fun and different tonight...

I think that i should just get a group of people just to hang out... it was fun and well it was fun.... a big group would be fun i think... fun in a big group... we could mob places and be like... hey... we're a big group, treat us special... or like, hey hey... me and my friends are more populated then you and your friend.... or even like... excuse me, could you get your friend off of my friend's face? yea, that'd be great....

I just wanna have fun..... is that so much to ask?? haha.... KICKIN BABY!!

I feel sad, I don't know if i can get anyone anything for christmas.... i feel kinda bad, cuz i know if i get one for someone, then i'll have to get one for another and another and another... and well, i don't have money for it... and well i'm saving up so its not exactly helping.... that and people already have given me things, like lawrence.... he got me a gba game already.... ugh... and people want to go christmas shopping.. and i can't... and well i lost my express card among other things and can't do jack about it....

I ordered a new ATM card today... next thing to do i guess is my drivers liscense.... i dont know when, but i better do it soon..... dang soon......

I wonder how karalee is doin... her and jolynn and missy, i haven't really heard too much in depth from them in a long while... i guess i better call and chat with them sometime.... yea, it'll be fun... muhahahahahahaha

i think i'm done, i'm getting more tired and tired and tired....

GooD NiGhT AmERiCA!!

¤Thought¤
"Um, excuse me, could you get your friend off of my friend's face??" Would be a funny thing to say....

Wisdom teeth suck... i totally feel like crap... craptackular crap... and i havent heard from the people that i wanted to, but thats all good... i think that i should find out what that drug is.. oh wait is NOS.... thats what made me feel good, heck, life is a lot better with that crap in your system... so now i know what its like to be hungover... haha, i think i'll get myself used to that... get wasted, party, do stupid things.. yea, it'll be fun.... i could feel like this forever.... not really....

just leave me alone

Well, hopefully my life will settle down a little bit more... hopefully i'll let myself settle down... well maybe i got some stuff handled, and i've probably set myself up for some more crap...

Once again i've held some interesting conversations with many different people... a couple here, a couple there... there was one tonight that was kinda cool, short but cool anyway... theres this girl that goes to the Gospel essentials class for church (scott teaches in there) and well i remember this girl from the mall, i went into hot cats and she recognized me, although i didn't recognize her...... anyway, mike wilson and i had nothing to do, so we went to go see if one of our v-ball buds was working (at cold stone)... well he was and we got in, chilled, tasted different things and mixes... and these girls walk in, well the second set of girls walked in (i knew both sets).. and in this second set was the girl from the gospel essentials class.... i know her name, dont know how its spelled but its pronounced like jay-na... and well the funny thing is that she came in with this girl that i recognized from school 2 years ago... she was hot, still is hot.. but thats not the point, i asked (jay-na lets call her) jay-na who she was, and she said it was her sister... and well, i was very very confused.... Danae is her sister's name, and well, she recognized both of us, but could only say one name.... Mike.. haha, and well, that worked for both of us...... but it was crazy, she totally moved out to michigan mid junior year and has now moved back with her sister to take on life on their own hahaha... but wow, that was cool... very interesting... um, yea that was one of the highlights in my day, which was alright, and wasn't all that exciting, but was cool.... the other highlight is... I LOST MY WALLET... i went out to play tennis with myself cuz i'm a loner.... and well, i haven't played tennis in ages and decided to work on my serve, seeing as that is the only thing i can do with myself... and well, i remember giving this family a bag of balls, then walking over, picking up my rackets, my phone and my wallet and walking away.... later on, i notice that i misplaced my wallet and that i might not have picked it up from the courts... ugh, its annoying, cuz i swear that i had it and i normally pick it up with my phone... but ugh, i'm in deep water now....

Weird, but I asked my dad for 10 dollars to go grab some grub, and well, he gave it to me... no questions asked.... although he did give me crap for one of my cats chewing something up.... but yea, i was really doubting that he would give me 10 bucks... i guess i wouldn't have actually known that he'd give it to me if i didn't ask...

not much happened today, the usual mostly happened... they could be used as highlights in my day, cuz well, again, my day wasn't all that exciting.... talked to karalee, talked online with kimball, talked on the phone with kimball, talked to ashley for a bit online, britt called (not usual), talked to scott, played too much diablo today, got sick of diablo, played some more, almost deleted the game, put the disc back in, played some more, vowed that i woudln't play again unless i enjoyed playing it, played some more, took off, and came back, and played some more, and well, i'm going to kill myself... i'll find some human contact in there somewhere... stupid diablo...

Talking to some people today was more, different, than normal.. its like the neu wirlde is coming and taking over, changing people and making things difficult...

I actually did my hair today, its spiked up quite nicely, and well, its spiked up, not forward... I went to subway with mikey and apparently a girl there recognized us from school, although we both had no classes with her, and she said hi.. yea, anyway, she was kinda amazed with my hair and asked, how long did it take me to do it, i told her, well about 1 min and a half... i told her how it was done, and her co-worker, was like, yea haha, thats how i do it, except i use a blow dryer........his hair was 2 inches shorter than mine, it was only an inch long.... mikey and i were like.. right. shut up.. go back to work... pick this up.... whoops did i step on it... let me see you pick it up now... hahaha. not really, but we gave them all a hard time... it was fun....

I also got pretty much dressed up today, didn't feel like going all out, but i went probably.... 5/8ths of the way... necklace, black socks, matched, what not... smelled good... casual clothes, hair done, it was killer... no wait.... i.. am... killer....

anyway, thas it, tune in next time for..... PaIN- Its whats for breakfast... and WooZy- would you like a breath mint?

I didn't get my wisdom teeth pulled today... that was a good/bad thing... the dentist was sick or something, so yea, i guess we rescheduled for wendsday mornin... now i'm just kinda blah about takin them out... i was freakin out by the time i got there, bein all sorts of nervous and whatnot... now its just, dang man, 2 more days.....

I look like a red spotted cow... my hair is pretty jacked up, but i really don't mind much... i could really care less, but i believe that i'm going to dye it back to black, or blackish blue or a really really dark red/brown, as you can see, i'm not really sure...

yea, i'm just not feeling all that good right now... i think i'm just going to crawl back into my shell..

ALRIGHT! I can't stand it!!! I don't know what it is, but I can not STAND IT! It just gets me all in a crappy feeling... Its like I have to be consious of what I say and what I do all the time... and it makes me so uncomfortable!! I feel weird hanging out when I'm like that, and being tired doesn't make things any better. Its like something isn't being said that should've or could've been said but wasn't said... ugh, and I care enough to want to find out whatever's making me this way, but I care enough for me not to be like this every single day and think about it... but even with that, I have to think about it, just because its one of my best friends and I'd be crappy if I didn't care... but hell, I may just be off my rocker and could be told that, and I should be fine.. I just need to find out or something. But right now I feel like something's amiss...

I tend to hurt myself a lot, I think myself into holes that eventually create one big one... Like right now, I'm thinking that whatever and whatever and ugh..

I almost finished cleaning the house, I just gotta reorganize the front room, and clean my own room... And after I'm done, I hope that I'll be able to chill in my own room and have fun, well be occupied, non intellectually, with the help of a dvd or something, maybe a chair...

My dad comes home tomorrrow... whoop dee doo... i better pack up the cats... haha whatever, but still....

The Gift of Lights is going on at Sunset Park... I wanted to go with Karalee last year, but we never got around to it, so maybe this year we can go...

I'm still wondering whats going on with this valet job dealy thing... I called the guys back and they didn't answer again, so I'm like.. right.... and if I'm not going to work there, then oh well, screw it, I'm working at the other job learnin about cars and selling crap to people, if I can, lol.. it'll be rough seeing that I dont know too much about aftermarket parts, well I know a little but not as much as the rest of the other guys.... even if all that fails, then I can end my leave at INO.

Maybe in the mean time, I'll find a job that I'll really enjoy doing, maybe even with some friends if I find a good one...

Dang, I guess I'm a drama king, seems like something is up with me everyday about the same thing.... lol, I just read the last post I made... I'm funny (seriously)....

I hope that I can grow out my hair during this break I'm taking, hopefully long enough that I can just shave the sides and pull the rest of my hair up in the hat... I don't care too much about how I look at INO... actually I still don't care... I did before, but whatever...

I really want to play pool... I had this urge to play pool while I was DDRing last night.. I'll probably play some pool later... hopefully

My tongue hurts. Karalee shouldn't have asked me if I wanted the sour patch kids for the ride home... yeesh, but such sweet sweet goodness, how could I resist?! Crap, I mean, sour sour goodness... how could I resist?!

Random eh? I'll show you!



Squares A and B are exactly the same color!! Open the picture in paint check it out!



Yea, look at that long straight road....


Thats a sign I want in my room... can you feel the love??


Yea, well obviously, I'm awake, and I REALLY SHOULDN'T!! But dang it I had to drive home with real good muzik and make myself all sorts of awake... ugh... stupid driving home... I think we need to stop doing that, that and listening to c-rap....

I'm going to bed now, hopefully I'll turn out A OK!! GO ASIANS!!

Oh yea, all I did today was clean for 10 hours and then went to Chipotle, watched The Last Samurai, and played a little games, with Karalee and Jon... fun day eh? I'm out!

Today, once again wasn't all that productive.. like I really wanted to get something done... ha... whatever.. I woke up, stayed in my bed and played Final Fantasy for a little bit. Later on I switched over to Diablo and played for a little bit more... and not to my surprise, Jeremy was already online playing away his day... Anyway, he messaged me mid-day around 2 ish sayin he was hungry and wanted to know if I wanted to grab something to eat... so we did, Panda is still good 2 days in a row surprisingly. Then I came back home, did nothing for a little bit and then took off to work, where I got my butt beaten down, tenderized and served to me on a trox. Yea, I worked fries and got worked pretty bad... It's been a while since I've worked fries, let alone be by myself on fries... that was fun and a half I have to admit... Never really saw that coming... but I guess they could depend on it, after all, they gave me my raise... Whoa, something spasmodic occured today.. I got a phonecall from Karalee at work... I almost peed my pants.. Actually it was more like, uh oh, what happened now or what info does she need that I probably won't have.... Anyway, it was different, but I wouldn't mind it happening more often lol, kinda makes me feel good hahe, gets me to calm myself down and realize i'm not exactly in an In-n-Out world. Well Colleen told me that she called and instructed me to call her back after I was off... I worked until 10:30pm with no break, so John had me sign out at 10:45. Afterwards I proceeded to call Karalee while driving home. After a few quick words, the call ended, and I was home. Oh yea, I forgot.. I called Scott to see what he was up to, and of course he was chillin with Ashley, well actually she picked up the phone and I totally thought that I dialed Ashley Alford... it was weird... but I was pretty sure that I called Scott.. and then I assured myself that it was Scott's Ash after she started laughing at my intermittant words... I came home, and surfed the web a little while waiting for Karalee's returning phonecall, it came quicker than I'd expected. Well she came over and we chilled like jello.. well maybe not all that comfortable and and not that settled in.. not to mention colored.. well maybe Karalee's hair, I guess it could be like strawberry jello... weird, I felt like I've said something like that before... I'll have to look it up in my archives.. That itself was weird as well, I felt as if she came over to say something (I bet she had feelings like that when I'd come over) whatever tho... I could just be on one of those funks that just funkifies everything... and yea that was pretty much it...

Yea, well I'm pretty used to this funk that Karalee and I are in... well maybe there isn't anything, eitherway, I'm used to it.. Something bothered me while we were talking though.. She kept on saying stuff about people knowing her, or things that people that know her know... (that make sense?)... I don't think that she was doing it on purpose, but it was pretty noticeable.. After a couple of them, she'd say you after it.. for example... -... anybody who really knows me, you know...- yea, well... haha, now that I think of it, me knowing her has been mentioned a couple times in the past conversations... I guess that I know her more than I think I do, but at the same time, I don't know her, cuz thats what she says sometimes, well I say it as well, because I really do think at times that I don't know her... I think that the reason why I think that I don't know her is because I'm not reminded of whatever... Its probably just bothering me beacuse I'm not hanging out with her as much as I used to (everyday/night/morning etc..).. and thats not too much of a problem anymore.. I guess its cool hanging out with her every now and then... Doesn't really matter to me... I mean it does, but its not as weighed as before... well dang, nothing has really mattered too much to me... Drama at in n out with people and other people.. and little things that people tell me about other people with other people, or what people had for dinner or what problems they had that they had to discuss with whoever... Its pretty sad, I used to be all sorts of interested in the conversation or even jealous whenever Karalee was mentioned... now its just yea, thats cool... more fun to you... I mean I love her and all, but it just doesn't really matter to me anymore... lol haha like any of this really matters to anyone haha.. I like joking to myself, I think its fun... and I'm going to end this part now.. haha who cares!!

Sometimes I'd wonder what reactions would spawn from people that "know" me after reading these things.... Well Sandra you kinda count I guess, but then you don't cuz you haven't really hung out with me, except on my flooble chat deal lol, so what do you think lol... Its probably a good thing that I moved the other web page.. and made this one a couple weeks after I moved the other... Now not too many people know that this page exists, except you chicagoians and you brittany (i guess), I don't think Karalee reads this thing anymore, lol wouldn't blame her haha.. Lol I gotta say, this is a heck of a lot easier for me to keep a journal, cuz dang I really hate writing..... in general.

So my laundry is done... And now its on my floor.... and now its half folded.... and now theres more laundry on the floor... haha I can only imagine myself writing all this, I would die... Laundry? HA.. I wouldn't get the same effect out of reading this if I actually wrote this....

My room is getting cleaner, little by little... I think that my dad is coming home this sunday... Actually I'm pretty sure... I had set my alarm on my phone when he left, and set another alarm to when he was supposed to get back, and well, it went off today, so like I guess its this weekend! Woot woot, someone back in freakin Nevada... I won't be surprised if I had to move out in 2 weeks... Whatever though, I better sell some crap or something to grab some money...

Its a dang good thing that I'm not set on a girl.. I think that I'd be screwed up more than I am already.... Dang, I think that Heather likes me... I've actually heard it a couple months ago, but wasn't really listening... - was too interested in Ashley... and now its like, whoa... why? why me? Its not a bad thing, but I just wonder why she's attracted to me... it just makes me wonder thats all... and then again, I can just be full of myself and making a big fool out of myself to myself right now... haha I might just have a big head... haha thats really funny.. hahahaha, dang I'm cracking up.. good thing its like 1:35.. hahaha, dang..

I like finding money, its probably one of the best things that I know.. Its nice...

Wow, I sure make this things longer and longer.. thats kinda funny... well not really, that just means that I'll have a lot to read sometime when I'm older and on the crapper...

Dang I better go though, I need to wake up at 8:00 and work at 8:30... that'll suck plus I need to freakin pay my cell bill, otherwise I'm screwed....

So... Bye bye!

I ended up closing tonight.. and this is my freakin 4th time writing this just because the stupid internet is stupid... stupid internet.... let me make sure you understand.... INTERNET = STUPID. Closing wasn't too bad, i just had to keep music in my mind and keep singing songs to myself...after that, everything was pretty much alright...

Today wasn't all that productive, i woke up at 2 and well, i tried to clean the house again, but well, i only cleaned what seemed like a square inch, but apparently was a square centimeter... or less, i'm nice to myself so i rounded up to the nearest integer.

I'm reminded of how irresponsible i am everyday.. Tomorrow, my cell payment is due, and well, i have almost the exact amount of money in my account... problem is... i'm a little short... sooo... its either overdraw my account and pay 25 bucks, or take the late fee from sprint, which is 5 bucks... mm yea, i'll do the late fee.... stupid fees, they shouldn't have one anyway, greedy chaupinistic bastards, who probably like to paint stuff...

I'm really looking forward to getting my wisdom teeth pulled..... NOT. I'm actually scared out of my mind.. just thinking of them drilling into my JAW, doesn't make a good picture... that and the fact that i know that i'm going to be conscious... yea, scary like no other... its like falling off a cliff... well maybe not... maybe bungee jumping cuz theres a chance you'll die or get injured, its only a slight chance and that you're scared half to death when you're up there and don't really recall too much afterwards... i'm actually guessing on that... speaking of that... i might actually go sometime with lindsay b.. chances are i'll probably chicken out, but who knows, i need a life threat to spruce up my boring, not that lively life.

I'm getting to the other part of my life.. yea, it sucks... i've learned that we get better at hiding our depression as time goes on... i guess you don't really have a clue until you ask... for example.. lawrence seemed all fine today.. fine and dandy.. and well, for the most part, i was too... then we started just chattin about random stuff and i blurted something about me and my minor depression and retarded-ness... then we said something about girls, that didn't make it any better and moved on a little... oh yea, i remember why... on my break, a couple of us were discussing something and i said something like blah blah something n other.... naw just jokin, i was talkin about my brain damage and why i have an excuse to be retarded, as to like... ashley alford has the excuse of being a blonde... and wade has the excuse of having a name of wade... haha retarded wade... what a retard... yea, but anyway, didn't even know about lawrence, i was like, yea, i think i'm a little past minor depression and onto denial of depression... and he's like yea i'm way past that.... and from the looks of things, he seemed alright... I guess i do the same for the most part... i guess at times i let it show more than i indend to, and i can't help it... but i guess not too many people know me on that level, i figured out that i use certain phrases more than others when i get out of whack... but most people think i'm alright, dandy, hyper and without a care in the world... karalee's like that i too i guess ... i think she hides it well... and mostly everyone thinks that she's carefree... haha, then you have people like my bro Andy... he gets depressed, and well, you kinda have to look for certain things.... like excessive time playing video games, or avoiding the subject of girls and or long hours of work (at which he gets the most depressed... i can understand that)... it took me a while to find those, that and he'll say things in a wierd tone and sighs a lot (haha kinda like me!)...

yea, moving on... my carpet is blue.

next.. I was planning on dying my hair, but i'll probably hold off for another month or so when its a little longer... but we'll see... i don't know if the valet job would approve of me bleachin my hair.. so like, yea...

I HAVE FACIAL HAIR BABY!! but its going to be gone tomorrow morning!! too bad, so sad... i wonder if people ever get like me and say... dang, i'm sick of working towards a better life.. just give it to me dang it (hoping that someone insanely mad and stupified would come and hit me with a car)... yea, i bet there are people like me.... oh yea... no doubt about it....

The evolution of Spanish..... OH LA LA LA LA LA LA.....OH LA LA... OH LA....HOLA... yea, everyone should know that....

I want to go snowboarding, in... california!! Well snowboarding in colorado is tight, but i wanna go to california, cuz well, i still haven't really been there... and well, that way i can do both....

I WANNA TAKE A ROAD TRIP!!!

Wow, bath and body works lotion makes your hands touchably soft... and it smells good too... amazing!! -available at the bath and body works location nearest you.

yea, well i'm done for all my jamamble... holler to your mothers in towels

Wow, i'm pretty sure i'm the most random person i know... well maybe not... but maybe if you compare that person to me when i'm kinda tired/but not really all that tired then i'll probably be on top...

Its late... unexpected nights are kinda.. well, unexpected... oh, but honey baked ham is dang good... mm ho yea, thats what i'm havin right now... well that and some jello kinda like my late night snack...

So, what did i do today... as i think to myself out loud... as if i wanted someone to actually know.. HA... well anyway, i woke up, started cleanin up the house.. well the spare room and the hallway, then scott came over and we went to turn in his application at the fashion show mall for valet... then came back, dropped some pictures off... destroyed my desk, picked up the pictures, went to panda express for food, then walked to target to find some picture frames for my pictures.. then i went to work and he chilled and did some errands or something... after work, well i went home, hopped on my computer, where i talked to jen for a little, i guess she broke up with her boyfriend... i duno, i care, but don't... i said that i'd go over there and beat his arse down... she said ok, then i said so... when are you gonna buy the tickets? she didn't say much after that haha...well then i jumped on diablo for a brief second... then talked to karalee, then talked to bill, went bowling with bill ashley and scott.... where i tied my first cherry stem in my mouth... that was tight..., then i went home, showered, then went to karalees...

I was really disappointed with myself... i couldn't remember something that actually seems pretty important to me... i thought to myself, why can't i remember the last time... and why was it so long ago that i don't remember...

Randomness is fun... sure i sound stupid, but i guess its funny... and well, i laugh at other's randomness so its all good...

Jello is dang good.....

I'm scared for my wisdom teeth..... i'm gonna be screwed... well, i'm still scared.. but whatever... screwed/scared... whats the difference except a couple o letters...

My b&w pictures of indiana and ohio freakin RULE... i'm the bomb, go me, i'm gonna go blow up in the corner now cuz no one cares... well i do, so i care... go me... i'm still the bomb...

Seeing her smile and laugh at me was something i didn't see for a long time... mostly my own fault i guess, i'm crappy... but wow, it felt good and i missed it...

aww, all my jello is gone... oh well, time to move on to something else... like.... more HAM!! what a ham... i'm a ham... what a ham i am.. :)

Its cold, and wow, my hands have been freezing lately.. that and i've been thinking of stupid things such as me being little and staring dazed at street lights... and other things like look up with the car drives and searching for stars.. and other things like street names... and trying to find the temperature and digital clocks on business buildings... that and recalling weird things when i just think of them or when i'm reminded of something that resembled something that was also related to something that i saw maybe a day ago..... or maybe 2 days before that...

I think i'm done.. i'm excited, i actually work friday DAY!! thats amazing!! its like crazy, but oh well, i got the whole next week off for wisdom teeth... and well, i need someone to take care of me i guess... but ya.. after that.. i'm on to valet.. i hope.. lol, either that or workin at JP MOTORIN!! yea!! go me!!

well i'm gonna drop my pajama pants and just leave my shorts on... and i'll prolly go and crash... yea i'm gonna go and crash... in my bed.... in my good ol bed... bed good ol crash prolly go bash and crash in my bed good..

HOIGHT!

Best Of Me
by Starting Line, The

Tell me what you thought about when you were gone
and so alone
The worst is over
You can have the best of me
We got older, but we're still young
We never grew out of this feeling that we won't give up

Here we lay again
On two separate beds, riding phone lines
To meet a familiar voice and pictures drawn from memory
We reflect on miscommunications and misunderstandings
And missing each other too...
much to have had to let go
Turn our music down and we whisper,
"Say what you're thinking right now."

Tell me what you thought about when you were gone
and so alone
The worst is over
You can have the best of me
We got older, but we're still young...
We never grew out of this feeling
that we won't give up

Jumping to conclusions
Made me fall away from you.
I'm so glad that the truth,
has brought back together me and you
We're sitting on the ground (sitting on the ground)
And we whisper, (and we whisper)
"Say what you're thinking out loud."

Tell me what you thought about
when you were gone
and so alone
The worst is over
You can have the best of me
We got older, but we're still young...
We never grew out of this feeling
that we won't give up

Turn our music down and we whisper,
We're sitting on the ground and we whisper,
We turn our music down,
we're sitting on the ground
The next time I'm in town,
we will kiss, girl....
We will kiss, girl!

Tell me what you thought about
when you were gone
and so alone...
The worst is over
You can have the best of me
We got older, but we're still young
We never grew out of this feeling that we won't,
Feeling that we can't
We're not ready to give up

We got older but we're still young
We never grew out of this feeling
that we won't give up...

I've had some interesting conversations with different people lately... never really thought about these conversations popping up, but somehow they do..

Went out to family home evening with heather... it was pretty fun, she's a pretty cool girl.. although i do have to say it was a little awkward... but it was fun none the less.. people doing stupid things never cease to make me laugh.. we saw a bunch of ward movies that people made.. mostly people making fools of themselves....

Hope lawrence does well on his guitar final.... had to help him today as well... he should be fine as long as he practices.... he knows what to do.... i just really hope that he doesn't choke... i know i did my first time...

I really need to talk... its not really killing me, but i'd like to get things figured out and what not... i'm really confused and annoyed by this.. but i hope to get things resolved or ended, whatever...