The past couple days... yea, fun and fun... well off and on... i've been sick, but not really really sick... mucus, sneezin all that jazz... its mostly under control thanks to some pills and crap... but yea...

Things have been bothering me... i know what, and i dont know what... and i'd like to fix it, but it would be a waste of time...

I've had a couple unique dreams in the past 2 nights... kinda disturbing and little weird for my own tastes... i dont know what they mean or if there is any significance at all...

Thanksgiving was splendid... food was awesome... but i felt just a little uncomfortable...

I'll probably just try to avoid everything... that seems like the easiest for me... probably not the best... but i think it'll do for me...

Soon, i'll be meeting some new people, different environment and i hopefully won't be so stressed out.. we'll see and hopefully i'll like it....

I can be fake, but i rather not...

Ahh, tomorrow is TURKEY DAY!! Another holiday that we get off from work and get to spend with family... how awesome... but another thing comes with turkey day.... FOOD, and freakin GOOD FOOD.... but one more... FOOTBALL!! Kinda fun, kimball in indiana is goin out to play some football tomorrow morning as well... i guess it'll be fun..

Ugh, its one thing to hang out with russell and bob... but hangin out with them while they're doin somethin stupid just isn't worth the time... freakin smokin cigars and crap now... I hope they like it, cuz if they're doin it to be cool, they sure as hell aren't.

Ashley got in town today i guess... oh heck, i dont know where i was going with that line... freakin my night was shot and it sucked... i just didn't want to be at work again, it wasn't all that bad, but i just want out for right now... stinkin, i was scheduled on the associate schedule to work at 4:45... but apparently the manager one didn't and said that i was to work at 88 at 11... well i get a phonecall sayin that i'm supposed to be there, and well, i just made up some dumb excuse... john told me to come in afterwards... and well, i did, and then i asked 88 if they still needed me.. they said no and i was like, alright, goin home, time to sleep and relieve some shiet.. but whatever, well i guess that i was still supposed to work the night shift.. and i did.. on handheld..... Kinda around the time that i was supposed to get off, karalee showed up.. i was kinda excited, but kinda wasn't at the same time... Brittany was off as well, well, she was off for a while... but she stayed there to wait for karalee i assume.... well, i got off, cooked my burger, and went home... and that was pretty much it...

I played a bit of diablo. Then realized that time has passed and still no call, so i decided to leave it be... they're probably tired, and ashley probably was exausted from the drive... so i just kicked back for a little... then i got a returned phonecall from lawrence and he wanted to hang out, so i met him and christina, monique and lawrence's cousin at The Hang out... another pool hall with less smoke... and then russ and bob came.... lit some cigars, left... then we left.. and badabing badaboom, i'm here... and well now i've exausted myself enough that i can just go to sleep now...
And with that.. i leave a parting gift of words.... GooDNigHT!!

So i felt a little better today... it was well.... better than last night... Thanks the help guys.... yall are great, gettin me that junk last night.... Well, today kinda started well, i got to el place and got most of my crap turned in except for one sheet which i forgot on the kitchen counter.... just like school... yeesh... i settled with returning tomorrow as to driving back and driving there again... After that, i decided to pick up some pictures that i didn't really remember too much about... opening the envelope refreshed my memory.... claim jumper, lisa half drunk, carla, maria, bob and his shape shirt, My Bros and MEGAN!! and she's sooo cute... i just want to make a doll out of her so i can take one home with me... even tho i dont really know what to do with a doll.... yet alone a baby, a picture i want to give to ashley or karalee, its a liscense plate... kinda funny to me... uh, i forgot what else is on there... oh yea, the concrete path that said "This is not an entrance"... it'll make a good sign...

I really wanted to get out of work as fast as i could... i really did not want to be there for the life of me.. i told people that i've found another job, i dont know what they're gonna do with that info, but who knows and who cares right now... turns out that i'll probably just work both, or take a leave of absence till the holiday season is over, cuz dayem, right now, my hours are being cut up like raZors on a hairy butt (not mine, i'm asian, got no hair)...

I've heard that stress causes illness... i've looked it up the internet... but whos to say that the internet is all that correct... but whatever, i think its kinda funny, maybe i'll take it into thought... besides all that, i'm still stressin anyway... but i can get into that with someone later on... but for now i'm out

Saltine crackers are good, Water is good, Gatorade is good....Pepto bismol is nast- T!!! I dont know whats up with me, but dang something is complaining bad... my body is probably complaining about all the stress i've been giving it... something starts to hurt whenever i get stressed... i guess today was the breaking point or something... that and maybei i ate something wrong today... but i only ate once and i felt like crap before it... so like, yea, somethign is nuts... right now i'm still a little crazy minded and my head still hurts considering that i'm hanging off my bed to type on the wired keyboard.... and i still feel like nails in a can shaken... and i also feel like i need to take a crap but i can't and it sucks... well i'm running out of NRG so i'm peacing out now.... thank you for tuning into ME... brought to you by such affiliates such as ME and HIM also known as ME... And viewers like you...

Well closing isn't as bad as i make it out to be.. infact, its acutally kinda fun, plus the money is nice.... Lisa showed me how to do the shake machine... well i really just watched her do the crap.. and well, i had to do it tonight!... it was tight... i guess i exceeded nick's expectations on it... he went back to the office thinking that he would have to come up and help me finish it up, but when he did, it was all in the wrap and junk... i got that thing done just as fast as john did with the grill... it was tight.... It was a blast... well its always somewhat of a blast when johnny i and i work together... the past two nights we busted hell loose... and during the night it'd be the azn sensations on the grill.. grill.... it had a good feeling to it... well jumping on and off of it... but i still don't want to cook...

I got an exaust today... it sounds smooth, little bit louder than my corolla... but i can put a silencer in it as well... you know, if i want to tone it down a notch... its pretty nice... i'm probably going to fixt he axle this coming week.... hopefully get it rebuilt for 40 bucks.... and dang, i need to clean that beast.. it needs a little asian touch...

Dang, i need to clean the house... well mostly my room, hallway and bathroom... its like 3 times worst than karalee's room normally... and i think its startin to stink... but i can't really tell over the oil air freshener... thank goodness for glade....

i'm always thinking about karalee... subconsciously.... maybe its the nametag in my car... or the time spent with her before... or just seeing her last night at work... or even colleen asking if karalee and i ever dated... or her asking what is with that girl- there's something about her that everyone likes... or her calling the store... or lisa talking about her... or other people talking to me about her... someway some how i'm connected to her... i'm not saying its bad.. i'm just pointing it out to myself... haha i think its better when i can read my own thoughts... lets me process it more and more... then i get to think about what i thought about, then process it some more... until i eventually say i'm dumb and not care anymore....

Mmmm fruit gushers.... i bought 2 boxes a couple days ago... on sale of course.... they were like a buck each... it was tight... that and a case of cherry coke, pinapple fanta and some dr. pepper... gotta have the dp...

Its been officially 4 days since i've hung out or done anything fun... i think i've just been working or something... that and i dont' really have any friends anymore or whatever... i may be wrong... but no one's gonna prove it to me... and bob can't move out anymore... he can't save up the funds... too much fun.... who needs fun anyway, we all have work instead... work is.... fun............ fun.........work...... yeh........ well i'm probably going to have to go to the institute to find some roommates by january... lots of money is going to be spent in the next couple months... and well, my priorities are getting a little scattered..... but i'll survive... one way or another..

I'm outtie...

¤)Thought(¤
Too busy for home? Or not too busy... That is my question.... I've had a rough couple weeks... but who cares... i've got a cat who loves me

No longer exists for the time that I don't have that is.....

Well maybe its time that i spend pissed off at something i should let go of...

Anyway, i time doesn't heal everything, but sometimes makes you feel a lot better.... lets you cool off a little and see things without the bloody tint of red hate...

Tonight was excellent... fun, but different fun than I'd normally have hanging out with everyone... well at least others that are like me.... I went to nick's place... along with Bob, Russell, Liz, Christina, Wade, Monique, Phil, Beckstead, and later on Danny and Maria.... we all watched football and chilled... It was totally relaxing for me... i wasn't hyper... i just sat back and watched... it was satisfying... I watched people be stupidly perverted, say dumb things, just be funny all without the influence of anything illegal... We ordered 5 pizzas and some cinisticks and some cheese stick thingys for the grub for the get together... and dang, it was just a blast... Liz and I went out to go grab some other munchies and stuff... salsa n chips and what not... and well, overall... it was a blast for me... I didn't have to act crazy to attract attention to myself... i didn't have to be all sorts of hyper... i just had to be there... Nick kept pointing out that I was totally kickin it and relaxin while everyone (at different times) were all sorts of psychaotic and stuff... it felt good...

Well after that, we all drove our butts.. well most of our butts out to Russell's place to play some pool and kick it some more... that was pretty cool for the most part... some people were kinda on my nerves and steping on them like they would if they were aiming for cracks in a beat up road... i was like ARGRAGHGHHH.... go away dang it... or shut the fease up...

Well now i'm back and things were pretty cool... one thing did scare me though... my axle, well part of my axle (cv) popped out while i was making a u-turn at russell's house... my car shut down and stuff and i was like, ohh snap.... then i turned the wheel the other way... felt a little click and started the car and it was alright.... my guess is that it popped out, and i popped it back in... i better find the funds to get this repaired soon or else i'm gonna be stranded....

In the drive today, i realized who i met....
Flashback- I got my brakes done at Professional Brake Service... actually i got my wheel studs there.. well got them replaced... 2 times... Now a couple weeks after that i went bowling with scott and the church group... one of the guy's names is Ryan... kinda short, short haired... kinda thuggy... and well, he was pretty cool.... back to the point... the last time (which was actually friday...) i got my wheel studs replaced... i had a guy named Ryan help me out... but he had a beanie on and was pretty busy and didn't really look all that familiar... well, he came into the drive today, dressed pretty normal but with a Professional brake Service patch and a Ryan patch on his shirt... I looked at his face and i realized that he was from the bowling night... well i recognized him from that first and was like... hey man, how've you been?! and he was like, hey man, you're that guy with the honda.... and i was like... yea... its right there (he's seen my car at the bowling ally)... but you know Scott Ivie... and he was like yea... then we had to go... and well, as he was leaving, i realized the patch and was like.... oh snap, he's the guy at the brake shop and the same guy from bowling, and he only remembers me from the shop, and i only remembered him from church... i felt so stupid, but it was funny... i guess he can help me fix my axle he said, i got his digits.... haha i guess i'm better at getting guy's numbers than girls..... oh hell no, not turning gay.... anyway, that was whack...

Mykii out at 1:48

Fuck this page... it no longer exists

It makes me depressed... longing for something i never had.... looking outside the window and seeing families spend time together... riding around, laughing, runnin around... it hurts.. hurts so much its unexplainable.... just doesn't work... knowing that something is missing and that you'll never be able to fill it.... or you know that you are missing, and you cant fill it. lonliness... thats what it is... i guess some people were ment to live like this... tears are burning... i guess its been a while since the last time i've cried all out... maybe i've been holding everything for too long... better yet... holding nothing for too long... its funny how i can only put so much in words knowing that if i was able to, there would be pages and pages... my joyous perspective on life.... just full of deceit..

Wow... now I know that it is 40 miles from InO to around russells to around the orleans and back home.... go me and saving gas.... pish posh... anyway, i'm not looking forward to closing tomorrow again for the 3rd night.... i really just want to call in sick or some fake crap... just be fake... i think i can do that.... yea whatever... steve sucks... this night pretty much sucked... this sucks.... girls are cool.... steve still sucks... i'm out